focus.

I can't explain this, mood swings from high to low in a split second, and the closest to you don't make a difference. How irritating it is that a single sms could affect your whole day, and in the end you'll always be more affected by the bad than the good. How today was from rush rush to hugeomghuge relief and back to rush rush.
What does make sense is my mind is somehow seemingly clear, like i get it now. The pieces fit. -don't think too much-
On a side note, there are freaky chinese middle aged guys around school asking for personal emails to broaden their music genre apparently. Don't know wtf's their problem.

After the no-music busrides home,
where i just sit, thinking.
I might just need you more than you think.
August is round the corner.

just like insomnia.

For the first time in god knows when, I came home early and slept.
Slept like never before.
Then i woke up, finished those assignments
and now i is happy girl.
Especially after last night.

waste.

I'm not supposed to be doing all this extra stuff, extra baggage they call it. Push everything, like time makes no difference. We'll always have tomorrow but we might not always be we.
We're just kids, waiting to grow up. I still don't see your childish point. It makes no difference to me, throw your tantrums, scream, kick, shout, no one bothers. We're still unharmed, and fully functioning thats all that matters. now.
But we're almost there, just.

(i'm sorry i don't have a better picture of us) =(


Its 2 minutes till midnight, and for the last time; happy birthday qai=)
I'm glad the day ended with a smile even though it didn't go how you wanted it to.
but you know this clumsyass will always be here to listen to your analysis of the whole world, and everything else.
i still don't get how you understand tamil though, so namaste tissue man, i'm sorry i forgot to buy prata and curry for your birthday cake.
I really wished what we wished just now cos it would be the best present ever eh.

Let go.

I thought i could handle everything you threw at me, and then everything comes crashing and burning, and its then that we all know to take things as it comes.
Don't think too much.
I'm really trying not to.

I give up.

why does she stay?

Escape; a form of active denial.
Cramped feet, still in-step with you.
smiles and we'll slowly be self-conscious.
the best drink ever gulped down,
just enough wooo not to care,
beware, the careless hands
touch me not,
you're saying something,
don't point to the dancefloor.
what i can't hear you.

Its back to business, back to practicality.
And I'm glad its still the same=)
Schoolboringwork calls.

I don't know how to put it,

I've never not been able to run away from things, atleast for a little while its possible, but somehow thats not happening, i'll have to face it everyday, deal with it like it doesn't matter and choices don't matter here.
Things that really get to me don't make a difference. Little things that annoy me, just fade away. Gossiping with you was left to yesterday. My nails have been blue for too long, bad for health, affecting judgement. Argh Thursday finally BTT. Friday night, come quick, need to escape this madness.

I'm missing the nerds, too much=(

Time.

Assumed hiatus over, 2 projects down, AGM's done and my mind is clear. Unavoidable denial still rests at the back of my head about the other tests and submissions, BTT and sub comm recruitment. I try to plan my schedule for the week to come, and i don't really have a free day. I shouldn't complain, i know its my time just wish i had more time to study, freakin testsX[

In time, i will fade away,
and in time, i won't care what you say.

I find myself running, without really knowing or even acknowledging anything. Without dealing with whats right infront of me, i neglect the ones that matter the most. I can't help the way i feel, nor can i explain it but i have an feeling it gets like this whenever i get to close. Choices, they say, Peanuts i say. Tomorrow shall tell.